I put my life on hold for a long time. I just knew if my accountant husband’s schedule eased up, I could finally pursue the career I had put on hold, travel more, lose the extra baby weight, be happier with my kids, and get more done. I ended up waiting, and waiting, and waiting.
During the waiting, I saw many others pursuing their careers while still putting their kids as top priority. I was sure it was because their husband had more flexibility at work.
I saw many travel the world with their kids, but I thought it was because their husbands could schedule time off, and actually take it without a laptop in hand.
I saw others with their kids at sporting events where the dad was the coach, and I thought for sure my kids would play any kind of sport if their dad could be their coach.
I was sure that the baby weight would come right off if my husband was home to watch the kids so I could go to the gym, and that our house would magically be clean if there were two adults attending to it every evening like I imagined all other families doing.
It took me a long time to realize all of these things were available right now, but that I was holding myself back. My brain had engineered safety from things like stress from work, fear of rejection, shame around my body, fear of the unknown, resistance to my insecurities.
It was more comfortable to wait and place blame on my husband’s job, then feel the discomfort of negative emotions that inevitably come up while pursuing goals. Once I realized my resistance to feel those emotions, nothing (including my husband’s job) could keep from moving forward.
Our life has not changed. My husband still works insane hours, and I fly solo with the kids the majority of the time. Yet, everything has changed, and for the better! I no longer wait for the time when my dreams come true. I make those dreams happen in the life we have right now.
If you find yourself in similar shoes of wanting to move forward, but feel your husband’s jobs (or any other circumstance) is holding you back, let’s jump on a call. I would love to help you see how your brain is protecting you from having the life you want.
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