Ep 69: [ENCORE] Letting Go of Doing It Right

Sometimes God and the Universe has a funny way of poo poo-ing our plans, and that’s okay.  Yes, you may have created a plan, and maybe it didn’t go the way you had hoped, but there’s one guarantee: life will give you an opportunity to let go of your plan whether you like it or not, that’s when the magic begins to happen. 

What you’ll learn in this episode:  

  • Trust that whatever path is happening for you now is the right one
  • Lara shares how she let go during her pregnancy to enlist the help of others 
  • The more we trust, the more the universe provides exactly what we need
  • When we can handle any emotion, we remain open to receive the lesson
  • When things go “wrong” maybe it means we have to practice feeling certain emotions so we can uncover why they are there.

What’s a guarantee in life, is that we will definitely feel emotions we don’t like. Instead of spiraling into a shame vortex, we can cultivate peace and a deep level of trust through our willingness to turn adversity into magical gifts!

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Listen to the Full Episode:

Full Transcript:

Welcome to the Mom on Purpose Podcast. I’m Lara Johnson, and I’m here to teach you how to get out of your funk, be in a better mood, claim more with your kids. Manage your home better, get your to-do list done and live your life on purpose with my proven method. This is possible for you, and I’ll show you how. You’re not alone anymore. We’re in this together.

Hello! Welcome to the Mom on Purpose Podcast. It’s Lara Johnson. And I thought today would be a little bit of a different episode where we’re going to have a candid conversation about the ups and downs of life. I talk a lot about life as 50 percent positive, 50 percent negative.

At any given point, we are going to feel a full range of emotions. And at this point, I am feeling the full range of emotions for the negative. And so, we’re going to talk about that today because my hope is that as we dive into these things that you’ll understand that life happens even for me. And I think sometimes it’s so easy to listen to a podcast, to see a picture online, you know, to gain insight into someone’s brain and you think that something is better in their life, when in reality, life happens for all of us. And so, my hope is that, you know, through this episode, is that not only will you gain a little bit of insight into what my life looks like, but also that it will give you permission to have compassion for the things that are going on in your life.

So, just to tell you a little bit… as you know, I’m nearing the end of my pregnancy and I am very large and very swollen, as I’m sure you can imagine. It has been not as challenging of a pregnancy in the sense of like… I don’t have a walker and a wheelchair like I did with my last pregnancy, but there have still been some challenges as I now have three kids. We have a very busy household. You know, now that I’m in this home stretch of pregnancy… it’s what I get when I’m pregnant is called Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, where it’s like my pelvis starts to separate too far because of the hormones within my body, and so it becomes very painful to walk, to clean, to take care of my children, to lay in bed, to get in and out of cars, you know.

And that pain is starting to increase the closer I get to my due date, which makes it very hard. And I demand a lot out of my body, and I’m really ticked off that I can’t do the things that I want to do or that I feel like I need to do in order to care for my home and family. Especially when it’s things that, mentally, my mind is there, and my body is not. And so, it’s been this very frustrating experience right now. On top of that, you know, we’re rounding the corner into just… sickness season. I feel like as we start entering the winter months; I have had sick kids that are here. My husband has, you know, in the last week he’s had back-to-back work trips and because of the work trips, he now has COVID.

So, he has been out of commission. Prior to that, he had surgery. Prior to that, my cat had surgery and prior to that, I had COVID. So, it is just… it feels like it’s been one thing after another. And like, I had this really beautiful plan for how all these last couple weeks were going to go and I feel like life has come and shot a cannon into my ship. And I’m like, you know, scooping buckets of water out of my ship right now. And so, that’s kind of where I’ve been feeling, you know, the last little while. And as I’m getting closer to my due date, you know, I had really allowed myself some space to get some of the projects done around the house so that I would feel ready for when the baby came because life has been, you know, moving pretty quick for us.

And I haven’t really created a space for the baby to exist in our house right now! So, they had somebody coming. They’re going to help after I have the baby and they’re like, you know, “we can come ahead of time. You can show me the nursery.”

I’m like, “What nursery?”

Like, I know there’s going to be a baby that sleeps somewhere in this house, but at this point, we actually have no idea where the baby’s going to sleep just because it’s been like this huge whirlwind over the last couple of months and typically, I don’t exist from that type of space.

And so, this has been, like, a really different experience for me where like, I’m pretty intentional about things and I have a lot of systems in place, but this year has just been very unique where, you know, my husband did start a new job a couple of months ago. Well, I guess it was… he started a new job a week before I got pregnant in February because we knew we could handle the additional stress, because we were all in, you know, “a really good place.” Pregnancy was not part of that plan.

And so, I feel like, really, this whole year has been a lesson on “let’s make a plan and blow the plan up.” So that’s really what it’s felt like. And so, as I’m looking at the next couple of weeks, there’s a lot of things that I wanted to get done. There’s a lot of things that I planned to do and to do right. And there’s a lot of things that in order to set my family up for me to be out for a little while, you know, to make sure my clients are cared for, my business is cared for, my home systems are in place so that, you know, it is just part of that pregnancy, you know, part of that nesting. I’m sure you’ve experienced that, where I have to keep reminding myself that after the baby’s born, I’m not dead.

I’m not. Like, I forget that sometimes because you think, like, life is going to stop. Which, it evolves, you know, after a baby is born. And so, I keep reminding my brain that, you know, these things are okay. I don’t have to have all of this stuff perfect. But that’s kind of the reality that I’ve been fighting over this last little bit.

And you know, again, like going back to that, like, the cannon is being shot at my ship, you know, it feels like life keeps like pooing on every plan that I put in place this year. And I’m kind of ticked off about it. And I, you know, I’ve had to do a lot of my own self-coaching. You know, I have a coach, you know, and I’m working through some of these things.

And what I have really learned this year more than anything, and what I really wanted to share with you on this podcast, is that during these times, life will poo-poo your plans, and that’s okay. There is no one right way to move forward in life. Yes, you may have created a plan, and I am the first to tell you I have created lots of plans this year. Those would’ve been really beautiful plans. We had a lot of really amazing plans that I’ve had to counsel this year.

And you’ve probably experienced the same thing, is that if there’s anything you can plan on is that life will give you an opportunity to let go of your plan and to create flexibility. That there’s no one right way to do life and that there are many ways that you can move forward. And those ways, even though you didn’t think were the right ways, they actually have these beautiful lessons and these things that you needed to learn inside of them. Even though you didn’t know, you needed to learn some of these lessons. And so, I’m going to share a little bit about, you know, a little bit more about that, in just a second.

But what I have found through all of this is that the lesson for me is to have a greater level of trust. A greater level of trust in myself, a greater level of trust in my family, my clients, my business, but also a very deep level of trust in God and in the universe. And when I really let that trust start to foster and to grow and to build out the beliefs there, what I have found is that there comes a point where I surrender. I surrender to what’s coming and to what’s here. And I start letting go of the control that I feel like I need to have in my life. And so, what I really wanted to share with you today is that it doesn’t come overnight, and it doesn’t always happen in the moment. But the more that you surrender in your life to the lessons that are being presented to you, the more you let go of some of that control, the more you start to see the depth and the beauty of reality that’s before you.

And so, when I really think about this and, you know, going back to what I said, is, like, there is no right way to move forward. And this is the lesson that God keeps wanting to teach me that I keep getting really mad. I have to learn. So there really is no one right way. There are lots of right ways, but I can make it right for me. Meaning that the more I let go of the control and the more I release the reins, the more I trust God to take care of the rest, that’s where the magic really starts to happen.

And I find that in this place where this magic starts to unravel, things start to work out for my good that I never could have anticipated or thought that would happen. People start coming into my life that I never anticipated. You know, like, I’ll just share, like, a really small example of this. So, I have this amazing coach that I have worked with. She is the one that has coached me and taught me how to launch this podcast. Her name is Kara. She is brilliant and I absolutely love and adore her. Well, going forward, I knew that I would be taking time off for this maternity leave and I was looking for somebody to help me edit my podcast.

And—she’s going to be listening to this because I’ll tell you more about how this all came to be—at the time, she was helping me research, you know, individuals that would be able to help me edit and post this podcast because I would be out with a baby and recovering. And in the past, my recoveries have been pretty challenging.

And so, I wanted to really give myself that space in order to do that. And so, as I was talking to her, she reached out to me one day, and she said, “You know what? I’ve really been thinking about this.” She said, “I would love to be your podcast editor and be able to do the production of that.”

It was, like, I never in a million years would have thought that would be a service that she would offer, nor did I see how that would be this, you know, integral piece of me moving forward. And so, she has been the one that, you know, is behind the scenes. I’m the one talking to you, but she is the one doing a lot of this work now behind the scenes for me, as I’ve been moving forward through this pregnancy.

That was something that, like, I really had to trust that God would take care of and I had to let go of control and he brought this beautiful human being into my life to help me not only launch this podcast, but now she’s helping me, you know, move forward and continue to grow this podcast in ways that I’m not able to right now with my pregnancy.

And that’s just, like, a really small example of how there’s things that we can’t anticipate that are going to happen in our life, but that the more we trust God, the more we trust, you know, the universe will provide, the more we move forward through that, these things happen. And it’s hard and scary, and I promise, just keep moving forward.

I am right here to tell you that, you know, in the trenches with you in whatever you’re experiencing, I promise. I promise that these things work out. And I have to remind my brain of that same thing because my brain does get so scared. And so, I was thinking about, you know, how do we develop this trust? How do we get to this point of really releasing the reins?

And I will tell you that it is hard, and it is scary because our brain wants certainty. We think that if we are certain—and this is why we create plans—if we’re certain about something and things go according to plan, then we know what emotion to expect. But remember that if we’re willing to feel any emotion, if we’re willing to experience the full spectrum of things, of feelings that could come up, we don’t have to be scared.

We have the tools. We’ve talked about the tools. I’ve taught you the tools. We can handle any emotion that comes up. And so, the first step of really being able to release the reins and to trust God on this deep level, and what I have to remind myself is that, yes, it will work out, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t feel emotions along the way, and it’s okay to feel those emotions.

It’s okay to be mad that plans get blown up. It’s okay to be mad that it may not look and feel exactly how you thought it would. But over time, and as you process those emotions without making it mean anything bad about you, without spiraling into some shame vortex, the more you just stay with the emotion and the more you give yourself to be sad or mad or conflicted… that’s where you really start to find peace. And that’s where you find this deep level of trust that no matter what happens in life, you know that God has your back and that you have your back. And those two things are so integral. And so, I wanted to just really share that with you. You know, with whatever you think is not going right, right now in your life, you know, whether that’s the tantrum that your kid just threw, and that it made you late, you know, to get them to their sporting activity. Or maybe it’s the traffic that you are stuck in right now as you’re listening to this. Or maybe it’s the messy house or the chores that your kids haven’t gotten done, and you’re really frustrated about it and you don’t think that it’s going right.

I want you just to pause for a second, and I want you to take a really deep breath, okay? I want you to really just settle in that there’s no right way to teach your kids how to be responsible. It may or may not be chores. There’s no right way. To get to a sporting activity. It may mean that you’re five minutes late, and that’s okay.

And the emotion that you have to process is what you are meant to practice feeling right now. You know, there’s no right way to keep your house clean, and you can give yourself permission to let it be messy for a time and to create some kind of system to support yourself or to just think about resetting those systems and picking it back up.

It’s okay for things not to go right all the time and to trust that there is a gift and there is a lesson in every step of the way. Whether that’s practicing feeling a negative emotion, whether that’s being able to trust God, and that maybe it’s learning more patience right now, you know, whatever that might be.

And so, I really wanted to just leave that with you. Again, this episode is a little bit different. It’s a little more candid than some of the other episodes, but I wanted you to see what was on my mind right now so that you can see that we’re all human. We’re all imperfect. We’re all going through this life together.

Give yourself compassion for the hard things that you go through and for when the plans do blow up, and things don’t seem to be going right for you according to your plans. It’s okay. I promise. If I can make it through, if I can survive the craziness of this final little bit of pregnancy, I promise, I promise you can survive things not going right for you right now. And I am always there to help and support you along the way. Have a wonderful week and I will talk to you.

Thank you for listening. Please share, review, and subscribe to this podcast so that together we can live.

How to Connect with Lara:

Web: www.larajohnsoncoaching.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/j.lara.johnson/

Facebook: www.facebook.com/larajohnsoncoaching

Work with Lara: www.larajohnsoncoaching.com/work-with-me/

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