Ep 68: [ENCORE] Embrace Your Messy Beginnings

When your first baby was a week old, you were sleep deprived, your boobs were always out, you were bleeding, and it was plain messy. You also couldn’t stop looking at your new baby, the beautiful creature that was inside of you just a week before but that was now in your arms. It was beautiful.

As you move toward your purpose, you will have a similar experience. Allow your journey to be both messy AND beautiful.

In this episode, you will learn:

  • How to get comfortable with following joy and making decisions
  • How to not worry that you’ll waste your time, money, or energy on something that doesn’t work out
  • How to work from a place of self love, acceptance, and trust
  • Examples of what discovering your purpose looks like

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Listen to the Full Episode:

Full Transcript:

Welcome to the Mom On Purpose podcast. I’m Lara Johnson and I’m here to teach you how to get out of your funk, be in a better mood, play more with your kids, manage your home better, get your to-do list done and live your life on purpose. With my proven method, this is possible for you, and I’ll show you how.

You’re not alone anymore. We’re in this together. 

Hello, you wonderful people. So, I want you just for a second to think back to when your oldest, your first baby was a week old. Remember that first week of motherhood.

Where it was like this oh my gosh, what’s happening? Somebody just trusted me with a human life, and I’m supposed to go home, and your boobs are out all the time and you’re bleeding and you’re miserable and you’re sleeping and it’s just really messy. Also, you’re holding your new baby, this human form that just a week ago was living inside of you like a parasite.

And now it’s like this beautiful creature that you brought into the world that you can’t stop staring at. And it fills you so much with joy that suddenly it feels like your heart is living on the outside of you. And it’s so beautiful. I want you just to think about that as we go through this episode.

That everything that we do in life, whether that’s starting a new podcast, whether that’s moving forward on your purpose, there is always a messy beginning. That’s just life. And it’s okay for it to be messy because it’s also beautiful. 

And so, I want you to think about that with yourself as you’re moving towards your purpose. There will be some messy beginnings. I want you to find the beauty in those. So, the last couple of episodes, we’ve been talking about how to discover your purpose and using the discover your purpose formula, which is joy plus decision equals your purpose.

And I know at this point, because I’ve seen this in clients that I’ve coached is they get to this point and they’re like, That’s it? Like, really? It’s just joy plus decision? Like, that’s going to magically get me there? Like, it seems too simple. Like, our brain actually wants to complicate things. We think we don’t want it complicated.

We think we want it easy. Until it’s given to us easy, and then our brain’s like, no, no, it can’t be that simple. There must be more steps to it. But yeah, it is actually that simple. And I want you to think about it this way to demonstrate How simplicity makes a big difference and how simplicity actually works to take you to amazing destinations.

So, think about it this way. Okay, so I just had my daughter who is eight years old. What I would classify as almost as a, like a late bloomer and learning how to ride a bike. She’s to the point now where a lot of her friends have been riding bikes for a lot longer. And for her, she was very apprehensive for a long time.

She has really bad anxiety and we’ve worked on this for quite a while. We’ve, we’ve. And she has just mastered this, and I couldn’t be more proud of her, like really being able to conquer her fear and really, and again, like, this is hard. This it’s like a hard concept especially when you’re so fearful. And so, over the last couple of episodes, we’ve talked a lot about that fear and really being able to work with our fear, which is, you know, what we had to teach our daughters to work with her fear, not against it.

Okay. So, this is probably why the analogy is on my mind because I’ve just gone through this with my daughter. But I want you to imagine for a second, like I had to teach, we had to teach my daughter how to do this as well, is that you’ve got two wheels on this bike and the seat, and we would just sit her on the bike.

And my husband was so sweet. He’d stand at the front, you know, with the, with the front wheel between his legs and he’d hold onto the handle like he was facing her as she was on the bike. And he would just lift his hands up and his, the bike, the front wheel was still in between his legs. So she wasn’t going very far, but what she, what he was doing was helping her just get comfortable sitting on the bike.

It was stagnant. It wasn’t going anywhere, but she had to be very comfortable sitting on this bike. And then we moved on, you know, once she got, you know, kind of comfortable on the bike, then we started. Practicing pedaling, and she was really apprehensive, and she stumbled quite a bit, and she wasn’t going very far.

It was, she was very wobbly, and we could, we could maybe go, you know, down a house or on either side of us on the sidewalk. She’s very apprehensive. Now. At this point, she’s able to go really far, she’s conquered this, and she is using very simple means, the same means that like she wasn’t going anywhere on her bike to now she’s going to huge destinations.

The only difference between those two was her ability to use the tools that she had, which were the front two wheels and the actual bike. Okay, so I want you to think for just a second about a bike. I want you to think about the front wheel being joy and the back wheel being decision. Now at first when you learn this, it’s going to feel a little wobbly.

You’re going to have to get comfortable following your joy. You’re going to have to get comfortable making empowered decisions and following those decisions all the way through. You’re going to be a little apprehensive at first and that’s okay. The more you start doing this, the more comfortable you become, the more your wheels move faster, the easier, the seamless it is, and suddenly you’re reaching new destinations that you’ve never thought you would get to because you weren’t, you, you didn’t have the tools, you didn’t have those wheels put on your bike yet.

So now that you have those wheels, now you’re able to move forward and it’s okay. You know, it. It’s the same thing with your purpose. It’s okay that in the beginning, it might feel a little clunky. You might be a little apprehensive. I want you to embrace these messy, beautiful beginnings as you’re following your joy.

As you’re making these decisions, you’re going to start you’re going to start peddling forward. Faster and faster through them. And that’s, what’s going to help you discover what your purpose is and reach new heights for it. And so as, as I was thinking about, you know, how you’ll know that this podcast episode is for you is, is if you’re really apprehensive or you think this should be harder than it is.

And another way you’ll know this episode is for you is if you think you should have it perfect right out of the gate, like you’re not going to give yourself any chance to learn. In fact, you actually resist learning. You think you should know all of this already because everybody else seems to have it figured out.

You know, that’s what your brain’s telling you. Or if you really judge yourself for needing to take some time to slow down to, to learn some things. Also, you’ll know this podcast episode is for you is if you have a worry that you’re going to waste your time, your money, and your energy on something that doesn’t end up working out, that is a huge worry for us.

And that will always stop us dead in our tracks when we’re, when we’re working towards our purpose. Now, again, just remember that the reason why we’re moving towards our purpose is because once we have that purpose laid, that becomes the strong foundation for it. every aspect of our lives. It’s not just going and finding a job you love.

That might be a purpose for some of you. It doesn’t matter what your purpose is. And I’m going to share some examples of, of the purposes of some of my clients in a little bit. But what I want you to really recognize is that once you know your purpose and you’re moving towards that purpose. 

That’s where housework becomes easier because you have a reason to be doing it. Your marriage will any relationship, whether that’s with your parents, with your siblings, with your children, all of those connections are deepened because you are alive and fulfilled in your life. 

You’ll find that things like simple things that just seemed really hard and really draining suddenly will just come easier and more natural to you because you have this really strong foundation on what your purpose is. And this is why I’ve spent so much time over the last few episodes really laying the groundwork for this because it will be everything to you in your life.

This is how you are fulfilled in every aspect of your life because everything will have more meaning to you. So, I want you just to think for just a second, you know, you were coming, you’re coming at this point in my journey where I’ve been doing this for a long time. But there’s so much more that you don’t know, or that you haven’t seen in the years leading up to this.

And I don’t say years is like an overwhelming, like this has always been a beautiful journey. This has always been something that’s so fulfilling. And I’ve been so happy along the way. But what I have found is that the more I tried to force myself through this journey, the more I tried to pressure myself, it was almost like, like my whole body would shut down and things just became hard, like really hard.

And think about it as, like, in terms of like a plant that’s trying to grow, you don’t take a little seedling and you start shaming it for not being further along or telling it that it’s behind or that it’s not growing fast enough. That seed is on its journey. It’s, it’s doing exactly what it’s meant to do on its own timetable.

I want you to give yourself that same permission that you’re not going to force, you’re not going to pressure, you’re not going to intimidate yourself through this. That, that as you’re finding that joy, as you’re following your joy and you’re making those decisions, yes, you are going to be moving faster and faster.

But there’s no place for force or pressure that doesn’t ever come from self-love or trust or even self-respect. And as you’re going through this, I want you to really think that your purpose will come the more you’re loving, you’re trusting, you’re accepting, and you’re surrendering to it. And that’s where you’re going to find it.

That’s where you’ll have the most success and really getting clear on what your individual purpose is. So, just like I mentioned, you know, this has been going on for a couple years for me, you know, quite a few years actually. And so, I wanted to share a little bit about my journey today to just help you understand where I came from and how I’ve gotten to the place that I am right now.

So many years ago, this was probably when my second daughter, she’s eight now. So, she was probably a baby. That’s when I first started to really get clear that there was something stirring inside of me. And I remember, and I’ve shared this in past podcasts where it just felt like the two didn’t quite fit within me, where I couldn’t have something else and be the mom that I wanted to be.

And I remember at one point it was like, God placed a very specific thought in my heart. And from that day on, like my entire life was. was different. And I was just out weeding my, my flower beds. And I very clearly heard it’s not a matter of if they fit together, but it’s a matter of how. And I remember standing up in my, in my flower bed thing and my whole life was changed that at this point I was asking the wrong question.

I was wondering, you know, if I could do this. And it, that wasn’t the right question for me. It was a matter of how do these pieces of the puzzle fit knowing that they already do fit because God wouldn’t have called me otherwise, God wouldn’t be placing these things in my heart. And so at that point, that’s when things really started to shift for me.

Now, up until this point, I had a, A JOB is what I call it. I had a job. I knew it wasn’t the thing, the, like the, the thing I was put on this earth to do. But I loved my job. I worked, so I worked that job. It was part-time. I did most of it from home. I’ve worked that job for five years and that was a very fulfilling aspect of my life and for a long time, even though I knew it wasn’t the thing that I was placed on this earth to do.

But there was no rush. And that’s where I go back to, you know, what I mentioned before. I’m like, there’s just like this acceptance, this discovery, this journey that was going on that I was okay keeping my job. And I trusted that I would know when the time was to quit that job. And I knew it wasn’t time.

And I didn’t feel that. And, you know, I made the decision to stay and to continue that until I was shown otherwise. And so, each time I was taking these steps. I was always looking for, okay, what is the next thing that I’m being guided to? It was like I was looking for clues. Again, I was following my joy.

And so there came this time where I had the chance to start a nonprofit with three of the most amazing women on the planet. They are incredible. And to this day, I love and admire these women so dearly. And I remember being presented with this this idea for this nonprofit and It just, it came together very quickly.

It was what we, what we did is we, we, we helped young terminally ill parents. So we were, as part of our bylaws, they had to be they had to have a 12 month or less terminal diagnosis in order for us to work with them. We’d raise money. So that they would have some financial support as they’re going through their last months of their life.

And they, you know, they could use that money however they chose to. And as we were going through and we were creating this nonprofit, it was something that I could see myself during long term, doing long term. It was something that I loved doing. We were helping people. I really had a desire to grow it and to take it on a national scale.

And I could see that the potential for that, what I also found as I was doing this nonprofit, that I fell in love with business. I fell in love with, with serving people. I fell in love of, with, with being around other incredible women, other incredible human beings, you know, feeling that connection that sometimes you don’t get when you are a stay-at-home mom, and that’s primarily what I was.

And so, I really recognize that. What I also saw, you know, on the flip side, so I was really learning and following joy and really discovering a lot about myself and what I was looking for and in what that purpose was for me. But what I also saw on the flip side was that I was giving a lot of my family resources, my time, my money, my energy.

And there wasn’t a financial return back to me. Not that I was expecting that, you know, I, I for sure wanted all of that money to go to the people that we were serving. So that’s not to say like, I wanted that from the nonprofit. I felt that would be taking money from families that, that really need it.

But what I just knew I couldn’t sustain it long term that the, we were eating out more, we were you know, I was needing extra help in the house or in with my kids and, you know, childcare and all of that. When we had an event coming, I was working a lot, and it became more complicated when I got pregnant with my third and I started having complications in that pregnancy.

And I could see that, you know, these were the other aspects, like these pieces that didn’t quite fit into this puzzle. And as I was praying about it, you know, whether I should continue it or not, it really was this, this out of body experience. And, and I really, I really recognize. God’s hand in all of these things, where at this point, I saw that.

That at that moment, I was not living my life to the fullest. I was helping other people do that. But there were, there were months that I was missing out as I was, as I was creating these events, you know, working with these other women. And, and I started to recognize that I was missing out on my own life and the life with my children.

While I was trying to help other people that were passing that they wanted to live their full life. And I remember very distinctly that I had this thought, I’m like, it’s okay to help the living too. And I remember very clearly, like it was almost like I could see thousands of moms in my mind that needed help.

Doing what I was doing for those that were passing on, like living their life to the fullest. I didn’t know what that meant. I had no idea what that was, but it very much was a vision that was placed in my heart and in my mind. And so, at that point, that’s when You know, I stepped away from the foundation.

I continued, you know, with my pregnancy, I had complications there, but I kind of gave myself some space to explore, to follow my joy, to make some decisions. And at that point, that’s when I started looking at going back to school. I started looking at a lot of different master’s programs and what I really was drawn to be the therapy type programs.

And I remember at one point telling my husband, I’m like, you know, I am so grateful for therapists. I have worked with amazing therapists in my life. I know that there is so much great work, but I don’t want to work in mental diagnoses with the phase that I’m at in my life. I want to work with, with women and their goals and their families.

I want to help them have a fuller life. And I remember getting like really frustrated almost. I’m like, what is it? Couldn’t figure out like. What is that job? And I remember telling my husband, like, I don’t know what that is or what that looks like. But at the same time, I simultaneously fell into the life coaching industry.

I’d hired my first coach and all of a sudden it was like these, these two things collided. And I realized. There was a whole industry that existed on what I was already looking for. And I had no idea that existed. So, it was really cool to see all of that come together. So, at the time, you know, my, my husband’s a CPA.

I think I’ve mentioned that before. And I had a support group for accounting wives. So, I thought, okay, that’s what I’m supposed to do. I am supposed to help accountants and their spouses. So, I went to, you know, get certified. I went to school, you know, to become a life coach. 

I went to the life coach school, and I was determined, like that’s why I went was to change the accounting industry and their spouses, you know, to help women that in families that were like ours, that were under a lot of stress and pressure because of the accounting industry.

And I went into that, and I went all into that, and I was there, you know, I worked with accountants and their families for about a year and about a year into it, I had like a full identity crisis where I was like, this isn’t what I’m supposed to be doing. And it was so crystal clear. I think there were, you know, bread, like I always talk about, like follow the breadcrumbs, you know, like follow the breadcrumbs, like God’s always placing these.

There’s these crumbs for us to follow as we’re going through this journey and. What I realized was that bit by bit, these crumbs were being placed until I really saw very clearly like, oh yeah, this is not like my heart and God, we had something bigger in store and that’s where I really moved away. And I’ve walked away from everything I had built in my business for a year, and that was really hard to do.

Like I had worked really hard to build a lot of things you know, content wise. Website wise, like a lot of, a lot of stuff that I built for that year. And I walked away from all of it. And at that point, that’s where I shifted into like teaching work life balance. 

I’d worked from home for a lot of years and I recognize that now looking back at the time, I didn’t quite see it, but I was scared to really coach on people’s dreams and their purpose and their goals.

Because I didn’t think people would pay for that. And so, what I did do is I followed the breadcrumbs. I went to work life balance and I followed my joy there. And I knew I was really good at that. 

And I started selling corporate workshops, which was really interesting because as I was preparing those workshops and preparing to sell those, that’s when COVID happened and suddenly everybody was forced to work from home with their kids.

And so, these corporate workshops, like they were amazing. I sold and I taught these workshops. It changed a lot of businesses. It helped a lot of parents. And suddenly, as I was doing this, there still was that burning desire in the background on, I know there’s still something more. But I just didn’t know what, so again, I continued to follow my joy.

And what I found was that I really love talking and I’ve always loved talking to people about their dreams, about their purpose. And so, I started gathering evidence that people actually pay for that. 

And I started to like, I really had like a notebook where like every time I’d see it somewhere where like the credit union’s billboard was like, follow your dreams.

And it was for a credit union. I’m like, they’re using that in their marketing. I, for sure. I have the skills. I know I can help better than that credit union help people achieve their dreams. 

And so, that’s when really it all came together where, you know, following the joy. And then making some really empowered decisions that all came together to where I was able to completely move fully into what I do now.

And so, the reason why I share that is, is that at no point in that journey did I think I was wasting my time at no point in that journey. Did I ever think that that I was wasting my energy or my money? No, every single thing led me to the very next thing. It was all part of the plan and every single step I learned more about who I was, I developed greater skills.

I got so crystal clear on everything that I teach now that wouldn’t have been possible. Had I known the end from the beginning, had I gotten it perfectly like right out of the gate. This was the journey that I was always meant to be on. And so, when I, when I’m teaching you about the discovery, your purpose formula, I want you to think about that.

I was happy and joyful through the entire process. It was messy. It was beautiful. And I would never change it for a minute. And so as you’re going through this journey, you know, as you’ve got your two wheels that are working together and you start pedaling your bike, everything you learn and experience is meant for you.

It is the very lessons that that are going to shape you into who you are meant to be. And so, I wanted to share just briefly as we wrap up, that, you know, everybody’s purpose looks different. Okay? And these are just some of the things that I’ve helped my clients, what their purpose and what their dreams were.

You know, I’ve helped my clients go back to school. Some of them have gone back for their undergrad, some of them have gone back for a master’s. I’ve helped clients start businesses. I’ve helped my clients grow their business. I’ve helped, I’ve helped my clients become better moms. I’ve helped them write books, find love, fulfill their dreams of being a Broadway singer.

I’ve helped them find fulfilling hobbies and things they want to do in their spare time. I’ve helped my clients get pregnant and have babies and become moms. I’ve helped them build out full programs. What I’ve helped, you know, I’ve coached them through walking away from careers and starting new careers.

I’ve helped them develop more connection in their marriages, and I’ve helped them parent in a way that’s in alignment to who they want to be and in be the mom that they’ve always wanted to be. I have done all of this while being a stay-at-home mom. I have done this during naps. I have done it early in the morning.

I’ve done it late at night. I’ve done it while my kids are sitting next to me. I’ve done it while they’re watching shows. I’ve done it in the middle of COVID. And while I’m homeschooling, I’ve done it now in pregnancy. And infant stages, I’ve done it during potty training, during busy season for my husband.

I’ve done it while my kids are in the hospital, when I’m dealing with kids sicknesses or with my own chronic illnesses, and so much more. I don’t share that as a way to brag about myself. 

I share that in a way to really show you that when you are in alignment with your purpose, things come easy and natural things are like God starts to work miracles in your life to where these pieces of your puzzle will start to come together in such a beautiful way and it will be possible and it will happen for you and I promise you that.

As you are using the tools that I teach you, it will become seamless, just like riding a bike. So, I want you to put your joy and your decision together and let that bike, as you start pedaling, let that bike lead you to what your purpose is. So, get on your bike and ride. I’ll talk to you next time.

Thank you for listening. Please share, review and subscribe to this podcast so that together, we can live life on purpose. 

How to Connect with Lara:

Web: www.larajohnsoncoaching.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/j.lara.johnson/

Facebook: www.facebook.com/larajohnsoncoaching

Work with Lara: www.larajohnsoncoaching.com/work-with-me/

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