[BONUS EPISODE] Busy Moms’ Book Club: The Practice by Seth Godin

Welcome to the Mom On Purpose Podcast. I’m Lara Johnson and I’m here to teach you how to get out of your funk, be in a better mood, and play more with your kids. Manage your home better. Get your to-do list done and live your life on purpose with my proven method. This is possible for you, and I’ll show you how. You’re not alone anymore. We’re in this together. Hello, welcome to the Mom On Purpose podcast, or I guess Book Club, excuse me, if you’re listening to this on the recording, you are listening to it on the podcast, which is always fun. I like being able to share that there. We are doing “The Practice” by Seth Godin today. And if you’re able to see this, okay, so Seth Godin, this is him right here. Anytime you see him, he is well-known for his bald head and the really bright glasses that he has, but he is considered one of the marketing geniuses in the world. I don’t actually know where he got his start. I was looking, but he’s just been in the marketing space for so long that if you’re ever in that space, it’s important to just be listening to his name because he’s everywhere. He has just read in the back of the book, some of he’s got 19 international bestsellers in 35 different languages. So, he is kind of like the grandfather of modern-day marketing in a lot of ways. And he is really famous for his one liner. Like he is. Very brilliant. I feel like some people have this skill to illustrate a point where they want to share a story and there’s more words. His is like a one liner. We were like, whoa, that’s really deep in so few words. So, as I was reading this book, I felt like I could probably take all these one liners and write 75 different posts for social media, because. Just these like one line, but as I was thinking about it, it makes it really hard to actually teach the book, even though I really like the book. So, the way he’s broken it down is there’s not really chapters necessarily. There are sections that he’s numbered. And each section has, like, you can see there’s 219 sections within this book, and each has, you know, a few paragraphs in there. And there’s not a lot of building you know how a lot of books, like, a chapter will build on the next chapter and the next chapter. This is more like, here’s this idea, and this is kind of… Similar, but here’s a different idea. So, if you think about that in terms of the book as a whole, there’s 219 sections that kind of is intertwined. And so, when we’re talking about this, when I’m teaching it, we could spend days and go through each section, but clearly, I’m not going to go through 219. So, I wanted to 1st, just outline that when you’re reading this book, be aware of that it reminds me of. You know, those calendars that you could flip. I feel like you could have 219 days of Seth Godin and read each one of these sections on a calendar that you flip. That to me almost feels easier in reading the book. Again, even though I really like the book and there’s a lot of information. I will also say that this book was really fun to juxtapose or, you know, compare to the book that we read last month, which was The Universe Has Your Back, and we’ll get more into that. But there is a very different style of writing by very different authors, but also very different things that they are teaching. So, the 1st thing that I wanted to mention, as we dive into this is. At times, this felt very contrary to what we talked about last month in book club. And it was almost like I had to take it. And I talk about this a lot in my coaching where two opposite things can be true at the same time. And it’s like, you have to hold them both in your hand and they both can be there. An example of this is you can be happy, and you can be sad. At the same time and so at times as I was thinking about our book for last month when I was thinking like the universe has our back there’s this magic that exists you know even going back almost a year I think to Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert where like these ideas come to us whereas That’s very fun and feels very creative and magical to me. Whereas “The Practice” is very, I wouldn’t say regimented. He talks a lot about creative creativity, but it’s more flow comes when you’re consistent, or like, it’s more regimented in that sense. And so, it’s important just to see that. As you’re reading this book, it can feel contrary to some of the other books that we’ve read, and it’s important to recognize both can be true. So, all of that to introduce the book, “The Practice”. So, he starts out in the very beginning talking about just being able to trust yourself. And I should say that There are some sections in this where like they’re kind of broken into sections. This is the largest section within the book and it’s to trust yourself. And he outlines on the very first page that shipping, he gives us some definitions. It doesn’t seem correlated, but I’ll explain in just a second. He says shipping is to share something because it doesn’t count if you don’t share it. So shipping is to share, being creative. Because you’re not a cog in the system, you’re a creator, a problem solver, a generous leader who is making things better by producing a new way forward. So, he uses the definition of being a creator or being creative or creativity as changing things for the better. Okay, so he kind of is outlining these definitions like right in the beginning. And then he says work. He says because it’s not a hobby. You might not get paid for it, not today, but you approach it as a professional. He calls it the muse. The muse is not the point. Excuses are avoided and work is why you are here. So, this is like your purpose. And He talks about the muse a lot, and I, the muse is where he’s talking about something outside of us bestowing an idea within us. And so that’s where, like, I was talking about before then, it feels kind of contrary to what we talked about in The Universe Has Your Back. She talks a lot about the universe and more of that quote unquote muse as Seth Godin puts it. And so just when you hear the word muse throughout the book, just think about that as like the external force that we’re working with, he doesn’t necessarily believe that exists. And so, you get to decide for yourself what you believe in this. But I am going to present the book and just understand that when he’s talking about the muse, that’s what he means. Okay. And then he talks a lot about “The Practice” and of course, like this is the name of the book and as I was reading it, I had to actually go back to this first page because he kept saying, well, “The Practice” is the process. “The Practice” is this. And I’m like, but what is “The Practice”? Like, I’m confused. And so, I went back to the 1st page of the book. and started getting clearer on things like, what is the definition of “The Practice”? So, he says that “The Practice” of embracing the process of creation and service of the better, “The Practice” is not the means to the output. “The Practice” is the output because “The Practice” is all we can control. So, if we look at it here, “The Practice” is the output. And this was really hard for me to wrap my brain around it until he used it in an example. And what he used in the example was he went out and he decided to go fly fishing. This is later on in the book, but I think it’s important to spend a moment here so that we really understand what he’s talking about. So, he said he wanted to go out and he wanted to fly fish. And this was like a world chance opportunity. They had a guy, the other people he was with were so excited to catch the fish. The fish would be the result. But he said he had no desire to catch a fish even if he were to release the fish. He said the only thing he wanted to do was he wanted to learn how to cast. And so he spent all his time on the physics of casting, of how you posture your body and the way you put your shoulders and your arm. And so, what he was focusing on was the casting or “The Practice”. So, this right here, it helps me understand it a little bit more than that. When we’re looking at the output, we’re looking at “The Practice”, we’re looking at the things that we are doing and improving those things. And at the end, there is some kind of result. And when we are so focused Solely on that result, we, and we’ll go more into this. This is where we have a challenge, a more challenging time trusting ourselves. We have sometimes like the result is outside of our ability. Like, he talks about Glenn close and how she’s been nominated for so many awards, but has never won any of these Emmy awards, but yet she’s still an amazing actress. So, he talks about how we’re solely focused on the result. Yeah. Oftentimes we can miss out on some of “The Practice” or some of the magic that happens from “The Practice” and being able to be a creative and changing things for the better if we’re only focused on this result. Okay, so that’s the. basis of what we’re now going to talk about as we dive into the book, but I wanted to make sure we got really clear on what all of this is. Okay, so now that we have established that, we’re going to dive into the book. So, within this first section, he talks about trusting yourself. And I really appreciated that this was the 1st section that he gave to us, because in my coaching, this is exactly where I start as well, because most of us are so concerned about catching the fish, for example, that metaphor that he used that we. Almost lose and disregard so much of what we believe and the things that we know in the process of changing and becoming whoever, we need to be for other people. And so, trusting yourself in changing the world. Is so essential and so that’s where he spends a large majority of his time right from the beginning. So, he says, sometimes we get so focused on set formula that in the process of following the formula, we forget to listen to the ideas that we have. He says it is better to, oh, he’s quoting Bhagavad Gita. I have no idea who that is. I’m sorry, I don’t have a reference to who that person is. It is better to follow your own path, however imperfectly, than to follow someone else’s perfectly. Consider the people who have found their voice and made a real impact. Their path’s always different, but their practices overlap in many ways. He goes on to say at the heart of the creative’s practice is trust, the difficult journey to trust in yourself, the often-hidden self, the unique human each of us lives with. So, he goes on to say that in order for us to change the world, we have to become creators. We have to become artists. And part of that is, is being able to find our own path and the things that stand out to us. Now, I will say that in the past, my definition of art is probably like most of yours in that it’s a piece of artwork to hang on my wall. And there’s a million different kinds of art that resonate to all different people. But what I like about this book is learning to trust ourselves, we also start taking on the identity of being a creator and an artist in the sense that. Art is the human act of doing something that might not work, something generous, something that will make a difference. The emotional act of doing something, of doing personal self-directed work to make a change that we can be proud of. I love that definition because by that definition we can all be artists, regardless of whether or not you can paint or draw. Eh? So, when we’re looking at this again, let’s slow that down. It’s the human act of doing something that one might not work, and two, it’s something generous, and it’s something that will make a difference. Well, and then he does go on to add that 4th, 1 in the next sentence. It’s the emotional work of doing personal self-directed work. Something that you can be proud of actually going to make that number 5. So, when we have this definition, it’s kind of fun to step back and see, okay, what are the things that are art that we may not be giving credit to it being art. We may look at something as simple as. Okay, like I’m looking at my desk, like a tissue box, like that can be art. That was something that some, at some point, somebody had an idea to put things in a box instead of like a roll of toilet paper, or maybe it came that way. And somebody decided that is very difficult to have in a bathroom. And so, they wanted to put it on a roll so they could easily stick it to the wall at some. Point somebody had an idea that might not work. That’s our very first clue that we are on into art. We have an idea that might not work, but it’s also something very generous, something that can be shared and can make a difference for other people in their lives. And then to have it self-directed and something that you can be proud of. So, an example of this that I’ve seen in my own life is that of growing the podcast. You know, you’re, if you’re listening to this recording, you’re coming to this in a podcast format. I had no idea how to do a podcast. I knew it might not work, but it was something so loving and fun for me that I wanted to be able to share it with other people to make a difference. And it was something that was very self-directed and something that I’m actually very proud of because it was so outside of the realm of what I traditionally do and what my comfortability was. And so, my podcast became my form of art as we continue into this. I want you just to think about what it is for you, that is your art that you are giving to the world? It may be organization. It may be the way you serve teachers at your kid’s school. It may be the way that you can cook a recipe and make it your own by throwing in a couple different seasonings. Like there are a million ways to create art. And I want you to consider what your strength is and in what area you thrive as an artist. So, he goes on to talk a little bit about flow. And again, like, as I’m going through this book, it’s like, so hard to figure out how to bring all of this together. So, we’re going to change this just a little bit. I think this might be a little easier to explain it. We’re going to think about this as walking along a path. And if you’ve been around for a while, we kind of did this similar to the alchemist in that book club. So, we’re going to just pretend that we’re walking on this path. Okay. And as we’re walking on this path, we’re going to have little stopping points and these are going to be sections within the book. So, the first thing that, well, I mean, one of the things that he says is flow is. So, he said when you’re consistently showing up, when you’re consistently trusting yourself and you’re learning how to work without flow, which is when flow shows up. And I think that’s so fascinating to think about because. The book we talked about last month is very different from that. And so just think about this and I appreciated almost the challenge of it, that the more you engage in the quote unquote practice, the more likely you are to show up in flow because that’s a symptom that you are being consistent and learning how to work, even if that flow isn’t there. So, think of that more as a challenge. So, then he goes on to say that. He talks about finding your passion. He says, once you decide to trust yourself, you will have found your passion. You are not born with it, and you don’t have just one passion. It’s not a domain specific. It’s a choice. Our passion is simply the work we’ve trusted ourselves to do. And I love that definition again, like these 1 liners are like, so good. Our passion is simply the work we’ve trusted ourselves to do. And he says, only after we do the difficult work, does it become our calling only after we trust the process? Does it become our passion? So, do you see how this is kind of challenging to read through? But the biggest thing here is. Passion is a choice. So, the more that you are engaging in “The Practice”, the more that you are doing the hard work to continually show up. That’s where things start to come together. And I teach this, like, in the discover your purpose formula, where we talk about finding the things that Bring you joy and then learning how you make decisions. And once you do those things and you start moving forward, following your joy, that’s the hard work that he’s talking about. That’s where you start discovering your calling. It’s not, hey, I’m going to sit here and tell my calling magically bestows upon me. No, I’m going to go out and engage in the world. And as I’m doing that hard work, it becomes very crystal clear. Because you were making that choice. You are engaging consistently. The other thing that I really loved in this section is he talks about the world’s worst boss. So, he goes on and says, your boss might be a jerk, but your boss might not recognize all the good work that you are doing. The boss might do a lousy job of lining up better clients to keep you busy or might not reward you for all the insight and care and passion you bring to the job. In fact, the boss might bother you at home in the middle of the night for no good reason, waking you up so that you can worry a little bit more about work. And mostly the boss might have a wrong expectation of what you’re capable of creating. And so, he outlines the world’s worst boss right there. And if you think about this, okay, you can even go a little bit further in motherhood. Like the world’s worst boss is criticizing Every meal that you do every single night, the world’s worst boss might tell you that even though you worked hard all day long, there’s still more to do. And you can’t rest. And so, he goes on to say, you’ve probably guessed who I’m talking about. The world’s worst boss might very well be you as I was thinking about this. Is most of us would never work for or would never work for someone that treats us the way that we can treat ourselves. And so, in the process of engaging in “The Practice”, like, sharing our work with the world, it’s important to recognize that. We could be the worst boss that we’ve ever had and not even realize it. And if we are ever to go out into the world and to share our beautiful work with the world, it’s time to start training the boss and giving this boss some leadership skills, teaching it how to have constructive criticism and being able to show up and, you know, give positive feedback and all of that. And being able to know and understand what we’re capable of and being able to show our boss ourselves that we are capable of that. And we don’t need to be doubted at every corner. And so, I do appreciate this section where he’s talking about being able to trust ourselves. It’s also being able to step out and look at ourselves as the world’s worst boss. Okay. So, then I think that’s probably. All for this section. Oh, so there is 1 more section in section 26. He goes on to talk about Drew Dernavich, who is a cartoonist for the New Yorker. And he goes on to say that drew didn’t he wasn’t a genius. He had more paper than us. And so it shows a picture in the book, where there’s these like a stack of cartoons and the stack is like this big and then there’s another stack that’s like this big and so the stack that’s this big has a sticky note on it that says no and then the stack this big is yes so those were all of the cartoons that he that were accepted and this was the pile of rejects that were not accepted. And he said, how many cartoons would you need to have before you gave up? On the other hand, how many not very good cartoons would you have to draw before you figured out how to finally make them funny? So, when we’re looking at this, the next step in our journey is making sure that our pile is very large because the more that we are able to start discarding the more that we are going to develop our skill. And we’ll talk more about that in a minute. So that’s the first section. So, the next section he talks about is being generous. He says the world conspires to hold us back, but it can’t do that without our permission. It says your contribution, the one that you want to make, the one you were born to make, that’s what we’re waiting for. That’s what we need. So, in this right here, he talks a lot about the desire we have to share, to be generous, and how we have to lean into that, how it’s our right to remain silent. That’s not what the world needs. The world actually needs your voice. It needs all of us to speak up, to do what we were born to do, which I think is really, again, we’re going back to the muse mentality. These are both things that can be true. And we can, you know, think about this in terms of like the world conspires to hold us back, but the universe. Always conspires to help us. So, when we’re looking at like the world and trying to hold us back, we can think about it in spiritual terms of like, this is the natural man side of us. Whereas the universe is like our spiritual connection with God. And so that’s how I kind of separated those two as I was thinking about that. So hopefully that’s helpful for you as well. Because I truly do believe that the universe does conspire to help us. I believe God has these things and is also doing his part as we are working towards “The Practice” and fulfilling our purpose. And there are some very natural men type tendencies that we have that are, that will hold us back. And he goes on and talks about those, but I wanted to just outline that. So, he goes on to say that hoarding is toxic. Now he’s not talking about hoarding stuff. He is talking about hoarding ideas that come to you that you’re too afraid to share. That’s big. Okay. Like, really think about that. You have ideas that you’re not sharing and being generous with other people to make that change in the world, which can lead you to a very toxic lifestyle. And I will say that the number one thing that I see with coaching clients. I don’t know the number one thing, but I realized like most moms that I coach are very concerned about home management. They’re concerned about meal planning. They’re concerned about their children. They’re concerned. All of these are good things, but the number one thing that I see that makes these things harder is if they have missed. Creating if they are no longer a creator in their life, if they have ideas and they are hoarding them waiting for the right time and season to where their schedule magically opens up, or the house is magically clean, or they’re magically lost weight and they’re eating healthier that right there. If you are not creating in your life, if you are not sharing your ideas with the world, all of the things of the world will feel harder and will become bigger and more problems. So when you’re looking at things for yourself and being able to understand where you want to go and engaging in “The Practice”, it’s Sharing the ideas, sharing the gifts that you have to make a difference in the world, and then it’s easier to engage with all of the worldly things like taking care of your home, for example, so he goes on to say ideas shared are ideas that spread and ideas that spread change the world. Please do not ever discount the ideas that you have. I did like this section. He talks about discomfort, and I appreciated this. He says, discomfort engages people, keeps them on their toes, makes them curious. Discomfort is a feeling we all get just before change happens, and I think that’s a fun way to think about discomfort. When I’m working with clients and we’re talking about processing emotions, we talk about the discomfort of vibrations in our body and how our body naturally wants to like pull back from those and our, like our fight or flight our natural basic instincts are to pull back when we feel that discomfort, but in reality, discomfort is the feeling we get right before change happens. Discomfort is the gateway essentially to change. So, when we can see that and engage in that’s what we’re starting to do. And then he goes on to talk about how to be generous and being like change makers in the world. He says the phrase here. I made this. So, he says, I, as in me, like here I, as in me, you, us, the person who’s on the hook. This is the work of a human. The audience can make a direct connection between you and the thing you’re offering made like here. I, meaning all of us made. Like it took effort, originality, and skill, and this is like something concrete and finite that we’re giving. And then he says here at the beginning, here I made this, he said here is because it’s the idea of a gift, a connection to another person. And so, when we’re looking at how to be generous with our ideas and not holding back, and how we’re working to change the world, anytime you take the idea and offer it to someone else it’s an act of vulnerability first off. But second, you’re offering a gift here. I made this. It’s like, every time you come onto this book club, it’s like, here, I made this. I didn’t write the book, but I’m teaching it in this way here. This is a gift for you so that you can also engage with this book in a different way. And so that’s one thing that I wanted to offer here as we’re going through our journey is I want you to just think for a second on how often in your life you could say, here, I made this and you could give it to someone else, the more you engage in making and giving something, the more generous, the more fulfilling your life will be. And that will send a ripple effect of change in the world. Okay. So, we’re going to continue on. So, he talks about the difference between, like, resistance and generosity. He says, resistance is an elusive and wily force, an emotion that will conspire to block us, undermine us, or at the very least, stall us in the pursuit of work that matters. Resistance relentlessly pushes us to seek confidence, then undermines that confidence in a way to stop us from moving forward. If we can merely trust “The Practice” and engage in the process of creation and shipping, then resistance loses its power. Generosity is the most direct way to find “The Practice”. So “The Practice” means being able to share and he calls it ship. Like anytime I say ship, it means to share your ideas with the world. To get it out of you and into someone else’s hands is to ship the work. So, when he’s talking about being able to create and ship the work. When you engage in “The Practice”, then the resistance lowers. So, this is really important when we’re working on our goals because everybody will encounter resistance at some point when they’re working on their goals. I’ve got some things right now that I’m working with my coach, and I will tell you that I got on the call with her this week, and I was like, my body is throwing a freaking tantrum. It is so mad. There is so much resistance over the things that I am working towards, and I keep hitting up against it. But now I know. At about a month in on whatever goal I’m working towards, that resistance is at its all-time high. And so, what she was telling me, she’s like, yeah, like you’re a month in expect that resistance to be there for six months to a year. I’m like, oh, thank you. Like, it sounds crazy to think I was so relieved by hearing that timeline, but sometimes we get so that we think resistance should drop immediately. But the more that we engage in this process, the more that we are practicing. The longer we are doing that’s the more the resistance starts to diminish, it loses its power. He goes on to say that we need to embrace the yet, and it’s, I liked that he mentioned this because my husband was just saying something the other day, he’s like, ah, it’s not working. It’s so hard. I don’t know what I’m doing. And I was like, yet. He’s like, what? I was like, it’s yet. He’s like, what do you mean? I’m like, you don’t know what you’re doing yet. He just started a new job on Monday. It’s Wednesday. I’m like, of course, you don’t know what you’re doing yet. It’s only been a couple of days. And so, I think that’s so important for all of us to just remember that. Anytime we are working towards something, we can add the word yet when we are feeling frustrated and our brain is throwing that tantrum, we can just add that in. So, the other thing that he begins talking about is that of selling. And I love that he puts selling in the section of the work as generous. So when we are thinking about “The Practice” and doing the things to ship or to share our work with the world in order to change someone in the world, it doesn’t have to be the masses. But just someone that you’re sharing your ideas with. He talks about the idea of selling. He says selling is simply a dance with possibility and empathy. It requires you to see the audience you’ve chosen to serve, then to bring them what they need. And I will tell you that selling has been one of the most difficult things in my business because of the beliefs I had about selling. Now I enjoy selling, not because it’s sleazy, not because I feel like a car salesman. It’s offering, hey, this is what I have created. And I’m sharing it with you. Do you want it or not? And either way is fine. So, it then becomes a very generous, very loving conversation where I’m able to dance. I love that. He said that dance with that empathy, dance with that possibility. Like there is no reason that I would be upset if you chose, you did not want it. But here is the possibility of it if you do. And I was thinking about how much we sell, even though we’re not giving ourselves credit for, and we’re selling based on that possibility. And it’s just something I wanted as I was reading it, I wanted to offer you is to consider the, all the different ways that you sell because. Selling isn’t always for money. Anytime you are selling your idea, you are sharing it with someone else in order to help change them. So, an example of this is you might sell your kids a new meal that you’ve made where you’re trying to like You know, engage in the possibility that they might like it. Like that’s a huge thing. Selling might also being able to get your, yes, we are all selling something every day. So much. Sometimes you are selling yourself on the possibility of exercise or being able to jump in and engage in the possibility that your body is. becoming stronger. You are selling yourself on the idea that you are capable of acting on the ideas in your own brain and that they are good ideas. So really think about selling is just that dance with possibility and empathy, that there’s someone that you’re trying to serve. Even if that person is yourself, your family, your spouse, your friends, your fan, your extended family. Your parents, there is something that you are trying to sell and just spend time thinking about how selling can be so generous, because as you work towards your purpose, there will be some aspect of selling, not always for monetary gain. And again, it’s just sharing an idea. Robin says interesting. Yeah. So just think about that for yourself, Robin, and think about what it is that you’re selling. Even if it’s an idea asking someone to do something for you in the workplace, you are still selling them on the idea of doing that thing. Okay, so then he goes on to say that as part of that selling, we are inviting enrollment. So, we think of enrollment as, like, enrolling in school, enrolling in a course, but what we are actually enrolling people in the, as we’re being very generous with other people, they may have very different goals. They may have. Other things they’re working on, but we, when we’re working together, we’re enrolling into the same journey. And so, I think about that in terms of the podcast, for example, when you share this podcast with someone else, if you’re listening to this on the podcast. Essentially, what you’re doing is enrolling them in the journey that you’re already on with me. And what I have done is also shared that with you to enroll in the journey that I’m creating. And I’m trying to share with the world to be generous with the ideas that I have and the skills that I teach. And so each time we’re moving forward, the way that we can be the most generous is make invitations for that enrollment. It says, once people are enrolled, you can play your music, you paint your painting, lead your company. Before that, you’re spending all your time getting butts in seats, reassuring the masses, primping up the benefits of your offer. After enrollment, though, the shift goes from you to we. So, he used the example of like the tin man enrolled with Dorothy on her journey, even though he had his own agenda. Same with the scarecrow, same with the lion. So, he says, after that. If you think we are off to see the wizard, we are engaged in this process, this journey, this performance to be enrolled. All we need to do is point. We can gesture over there, and the team will follow. They know what it’s for. And so, what we’re doing along the way is we’re inviting people on this journey. After we’ve told them about it in our selling, we’ve shared with them the possibility, then we’re inviting them into that possibility. We’re inviting them to go on that journey. And this is a really important thing. When we talk about our purpose, at some point, your purpose, you will understand your why everybody talks about that. Why? And. Again, it may not be monetary things that you are looking for. It may be a nonprofit that you start, but at some point, you still have to sell the idea of your nonprofit and the need for your nonprofit and how it’s going to change the world to other people and enroll them in that journey. So again, I want you to be really clear that this is not just for businesses. This is for whatever your purpose is. And even if you don’t know that purpose right now, study the things that you are enrolled in and the things that you are committed to within your own religious beliefs, within your own education and the way that you’re learning. So just study that and you can then start to incorporate those things that are important to you. So, then the next thing that he talks about is the difference between, well, he talks about attachment. And as we’re talking about being able to be generous with other people and giving of our ideas, It’s important to recognize that we are not trying to control the outcome and what people choose, nor is it a reflection of our personal worth on whether or not they choose to go on the journey with us when we get really attached to how others react to our work. We stop focusing on our work and begin to focus on controlling the outcome instead. So, he goes on to say that attachment, this kind of attachment he’s talking about is a choice. Now, I will tell you that this is something in any goal setting thing that I have worked on personally, and I have coached clients through, this comes up all the time, attachment. And you will know you are attached to something if you get overly discouraged, or if you feel urgent or graspy towards whatever it is that you’re working on, that you turn into like hustle mode, and you forget to eat, to sleep, like. Everything goes to the wayside. That is a symptom that you are attached to whatever it is you’re working on. So typically, like, when I’m coaching clients, I compare that to committed, but I actually like the word that he uses here is he uses it against resiliency. Okay, so he talks about like, if attachment were control and like, you’re grabbing your grasp, you’re grabbing hold of something. He talks about how there’s no foundation when you’re attached, he says, but under resiliency is where you have focus, you are engaging in “The Practice”. You’re going through the process, whatever that thing you keep showing up to do, and you have a really strong foundation. And this is a really hard practice. And if it’s something you’re ever interested in for sure, let’s schedule a consultation because I can explain more in detail about the difference between these two. But I will tell you that the more resilient I’ve become and separated my worth outside of the work that I do, not only the more generous I am with my work, but healthier I am. And then I’m not always reliant on whether or not people like my work in order to feel good about myself. So, he goes on now to talk about being a professional. So being a professional, he explains, is different than being… Okay. So, he shares a story about a lifeguard is trained a lifeguard is it takes somebody that’s very brave, even if they haven’t saved someone yet, they’re not certain they can save someone. They jump in and try and do their job. He talks about how that is the definition of a professional is even if you don’t know, you can do it. You jump in and try and do it. And so when we are working towards our purpose, when we’re engaging in “The Practice”, we don’t always know that something is going to work, but we jump in and do it anyway. We are working on becoming a professional. So, as part of that, he talks about worrying and he says that the worrying is the quest for a guarantee. Also, we can find the confidence to press on worrying is impossible without attachment. The time we spend worrying is actually time we’re spending trying to control something that is out of our control. And I really appreciated that. He talked about where worrying is that quest for guarantee because it’s like. Like, we spend so much time on that quest. We are determined when in reality, we have no proof that it will work, but our body wants that certainty. The more we become a professional, the more we stop focusing on ourselves and we start being very generous with our ideas and showing up, even if we don’t know that it’s going to work. The other thing that he talks about is like “The Practice”. He gives us an actual. So, he talks about how there’s no formula when you’re engaging in “The Practice”, but then he gives us a formula, which I think is kind of funny. But the formula is very big and very vague, where he talks about “The Practice” is choice plus skill plus attitude, and that equals “The Practice”. So, what he’s inviting us to do again is not be so attached to whatever it is we’re trying to create that end result, but to engage in “The Practice” with the choices that we’re making. We’re choosing to show up to this practice every day. We’re choosing to write consistently every day. Or choosing to talk to strangers. Like at one point I had to make the choice to talk to a stranger one day because I was so introverted. And so those were choices that I was making regardless of how I felt that day. I was still making that choice to engage in that practice. The other thing that I’ll say is that I really like the way that he talks about the difference between skill and talent. He says, talent is not the same thing as skill, but sometimes we can get them mixed up. He says talent is something we’re born with. It’s in our DNA. It’s a magical alignment of gifts, but skill is earned. It’s learned and practiced and hard won. It’s insulting to call a professional talented. She’s skilled first and foremost. Many people have talent, but only a few cares enough to show up fully to earn their skill. Skill is rarer than talent. Skill is earned. Skill is available to anyone who cares enough. So just remember that as you are engaging in “The Practice”, as you are being generous with what it is that you want to share with the world. It does not matter how talented you are. It matters how skilled you are. And that comes from showing up every day and then having that good attitude about it. Okay, so the next section is intent, and we only have a couple minutes. So, I’m just going to read the highlights of these last couple sections. He gives us a couple, so there’s intent, there’s no such thing as writer’s block, make assertions, and seek out constraints. So, the biggest thing that I kind of took away from all of these is that we are to show up intentionally to, you know, to keep our commitment. So, intent, he speaks a lot about things like understanding who you’re trying to serve and then going out and serving those people with a lot of love. Like, who is it for? And he talks a lot about in this section that you are not speaking to everyone, just like when you’re trying to engage your kids to eat a meal, you probably aren’t speaking to all of them. You’re speaking to 1 of them. And it’s the same thing. Like, when you’re engaging, when you’re writing something, whatever that is that you’re working towards right now. Find out who’s it like, who it’s for, and then focus on that person and that person alone. You’re not focusing on everyone. He goes on to say in the next section, there’s no such thing as writer’s block. He talks about improv here. And I really, I’ve studied like Amy Poehler before Tina Fey, Michael Scott, they were all in the same improv class together, and they’re all very famous actors and actresses now. And I really love being able to study improv. I will never do improv. Let’s be clear. I’m not witty. I don’t think quick on my toes. It is not a skill I have practiced. Let’s say that. But what I do enjoy about what he was saying is that in improv, there is never writer’s block because you are willing to put out something and to fail at it. And the more you put out something, the more willing you are to fail at it, the more wins that you have. The more yes, as you get, the more you create, the more you ship, the more you share with the world. And so, I did enjoy that section of that area where he talks about, like, there’s no such thing as writer’s block. Okay. So, then the next section that he mentions. Make assertions and I appreciated this because I think oftentimes, we think about assertions as like assumptions and so many times assumptions get a really bad rap. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard that phrase. Do you know what assume means? It makes an ass out of you and me. I’ve heard. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that. But what I like in this is he talks about it without assertions, then there is no reason for us to try something. We are all okay, Robin says, okay, so hopefully there’s no kids listening to this for anybody listening on the recording. So, I’ve heard lots of times that if somebody says. Did you assume? You know what assume means. It makes out a, it makes an ass out of you and me. That’s just a phrase that I’ve heard like all growing up. I don’t know why I’ve heard that so many times. But meaning like you shouldn’t assume what other people are thinking. And yes, that is true. But I think we kind of put this as like a blanket statement that we should never assume anything. But in this situation, we have to assume something in order to do something. So, let’s say you are like asserting is what I say. You have an idea that you want to try. This book club is a very great example. Like I had an assertion that other people might want to learn about the books that I’m reading. Why don’t I share that? I made an assertion and I put it out there and offered it to other people. That was the assertion that I made. And the more that I am able to have an assertion or another way to think about it is like a hypothesis is all we’re doing is guessing what we think will happen and then start acting on that to see if it does happen. And so, it’s important that it’s that we it’s okay to make assertions. It’s us being able to be generous with the ideas that we have. And then the last thing. That I will share with you is earn your skills and seek out constraints. So, he basically talks about again, skill and attitude. It’s not about whether you have the talent. It’s whether you are focusing on performing better, like doing things different in order to engage in “The Practice” better. Again, the fish, like when he was out fishing, he wasn’t concerned about whether or not he was catching a fish. He was trying to practice better. And then he goes on to say attitude, the best. So, in this example, he’s talking about swimmers, but the best swimmers bring a different attitude to their training. They choose to find a light in the parts that other swimmers would avoid. And so just engage in the delight of things. I like how he said that. And then the last thing. That I will say as we are wrapping up, he says, constraints without constraints, we’re left with no tension and no chance for innovation and surprise. And as I’ve been thinking about constraints a lot lately, what I’ve been thinking about is why is it fun to watch sports? And I love that Aussie had on her sports Jersey today. If we knew play by play, what would happen? If we knew who was going to win. It would take away the magic and the fun and the surprise. And we are okay with the surprise in some areas of our lives, but we forget that constraints that show up in other areas of our lives are creating that same element of surprise. And the more we can engage with that surprise, the more we seek out those constraints. The more we’re allowing for innovation and creativity and being able to engage in “The Practice” and to ship out our work. I have no idea for myself personally, how a lot of things are going to go in my life right now. There is a lot of change that’s happening, a lot of great movement, a lot of really hard movement. But when I step back and allow for those constraints to be an opportunity for innovation and creativity. That’s when “The Practice” becomes more fun. That’s when I’m able to really show up and fulfill my calling, the things that I feel called to do, and be as generous as I can in order to change the world that I live in and that you live in. And so, I hope that if you do have a chance, you know, to go and read this book. That one you enjoy it, maybe two. You make it into like a calendar that you read a section every day of the year. The three is that you’ll take the ideas that you have the things that feel special. And instead of wording them, because you’re not fear, afraid that they won’t be accepted, just give yourself an opportunity to share it. Remember that hoarding can be very toxic and the more you share your ideas, the more you are likely to change. Someone and a whole group of people, but when you just focus on that someone and you are generous with that person, that’s where a lot of things change. Last caveat, always remember that generous doesn’t always mean free. He does talk about that. We didn’t get to that in the section, but I think sometimes as women, we are not accustomed to charging for things and it’s okay to charge for things. All right, have a wonderful month. Way to go. Robin. Good job on trying ideas out. I think that right there, that’s going to change everything on say, thanks for joy. Well, both of you, thank you for joining. And I will send an email on what our book is for this next month. So be on the lookout for that. Have a wonderful day. I’ll see you later. Thank you for listening. Please share, review, and subscribe to this podcast so that together we can live life on purpose.